The Onion

• In Focus: Gulf Of Mexico Inducted Into OPEC

• American Voices: Menopause Meds May Harm Kids

• Opinion: Sorry, I'm Just Really Bad With Names And Faces Of People Who Are Not Attractive And Can't Help Advance My Career (by Michael Warner)

• Pentagon Ripped Off By Shady Weapons Dealer

• 8.4 Million New Yorkers Suddenly Realize New York City A Horrible Place To Live

• [audio] Hollywood Diet Secrets Have Fallen Into Non-Celebrity Hands

• Statshot: What Are Our Favorite Small-Batch Beverages?

• [video] In Focus: Hurricane Bound For Texas Slowed By Large Land Mass To The South

• Infographic: Original Kermit Donated To Smithsonian

• [video] Police Seize More Than $50 In Wire From Nation's Wealthiest Crystal Meth Dealer

more...